my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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