the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
