Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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