Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
