You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
