They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
