Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
