Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
