know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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