i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
