You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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