Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're too hungover to prance.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
