Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize