Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
