I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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