wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
