apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Randomize