Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
