hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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