I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
