This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
