Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
