check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
