Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
