You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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