Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
