Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i think my mom watched the whole time
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
