Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
