You can't motorboat a personality
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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