I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
