Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
