The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
