Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
