See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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