I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
