I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize