it hurts more in the daytime
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
