im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's rum buckets o'clock
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
