I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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