i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
