can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
