Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
