is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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