Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
