my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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