Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
