She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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