you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
