we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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