She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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