This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
