The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
