Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
