So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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