but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
