someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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