She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
