If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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