This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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