Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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