OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize