3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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