I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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