you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
