yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
