i need an iv and a liver transplant
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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