If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize